I was first made aware of this while reading Non-violent Communication for the first time. In Rosenberg’s seminal book on needs-based framework for understanding and communicating with ourself and others, he describes how people who have recently discovered that they can in fact tell other people what they need, often go through an initial phase of rudeness towards other people, until they learn to take into consideration that other people also have needs, and, more practically importantly, that we ourselves all have a need to respect other peoples’ humanity, and that we cannot obtain holistic satisfaction if we’re diminishing somebody’s humanity (making us deficent with regards to our need of respecting others’ humanity) to satisfy another need.

A practical example is people being rude to customer support agents to impose the importance of having ones problem solved, and experiencing an immediate relief after having one particular need satisfied, only to later feel a bit icky, namely, because intuitively our brain’s need for respecting the service agent’s humanity was made deficent, independent of whether you’re aware of having such a need or not. The needs aware person would find a way to make the agent understand the importance of ones need without violating their humanity, and be cognizant that if unable to, it is not a fault in the other person, but an inability in onself to humanely communicate ones need, with the corresponding imperative to foster and improve such abilities, to, in the future, be able to both get oneself and others what they want (need) – and not that the other person may justifiably be violated because of an imagined error (and subsequent debt) in their abilities to understand your needs.

TL;DR: Each is only responsible for one owns needs (and there’s no such thing as deserving dehumanization). Other people not understanding what you want, is either due to your own inability to communicate them (with a corresponding imperative to develop you ability towards the moral/biological imperative of satisfaction), or, alternatively, an indication that you’ve picked the wrong person to ask for help (with the corresponding imperative to develop your ability to seek out somebody more compatible to understand your needs for help vv satisfaction). Your need and the motivation to meet it, only exists consistently in you, so you’re the only one who can be able to consistently respond to it (respons-able, i.e., responsible).